My father-in-law died in February this year. It was expected and we went into the funeral arrangement with a rather clear and sober mind. As he died in Sweden, Monkey decided to arrange for him to be transported to Norway where the funeral proceedings and graveplot would be. It was also one of the last requests his father had before he died. So regardless of how hard their falling out was, and how much Monkey wanted to pretend he didn’t really care, he made the arrangements.
My father-in-law had a stepdaugher that he raised since she was a little girl. Her mother, wife nr 2, had passed away as well a few years ago and it was next to her he wanted to be buried with. Stepdaughter didn’t have any problems with this. Due the the estranged relationship with her own biological father she regarded my father-in-law as “dad” and that was that. Monkey often refers to her as his sister despite them only being stepsibling and have rarely seen eachother throughout the years.
So it was the three of us who made the arrangements regarding the funeral. Actually, I was just there as backup/support incase Monkey needed help with anything or just wanted a hand to hold.
Monkeys older sister, my father-in-laws firstborn, did not attend the funeral. She wanted no part in the planning and she didn’t want any potential heritance (not that there was any) or anything to do with any of it at all. Despite repeatidly proclaiming she didn’t care and wanted no part in it, she still spent hours on the phone with Monkey in an attempt to micromanage whilst repeating how she didn’t care.
Because of the problems that entails moving dead people across borders and dealing with two different types of bureaucracies in making sure that the two different counties and countries split the bill as far as the funeral goes it turns out only half of the costs was covered. This we didnt find out until later when the swedish curator explained it after trying to get ahold of him for two weeks. But he did gives us authorization to empty and close father-in-laws bank accounts in Sweden. Meanwhile Monkey had taken up a short loan in order to pay the remaining 38 000 NOK that was short.
On Monday we went to Sweden. On the way we stopped by his eldest sisters house to have her sign the authorization as well as it was required. While making idle chit chat my sister-in-law decides this is a most appropriate moment to show just how petty and bitchy she can possibly get.
“So, how much is Stepsister X going to pay into this considering she was the main driving force for racking up the expenses?”
I had problems believing she had actually said that. I had to blink a couple of times processing what had just happened and at the same time restrain myself from remarking “That was unnecessary.” As the papers were signed I got up from my chair and reached for the papers and put them back in my bag. Quietly (but unfortunately unnoticably) signaling that I’m really ready to leave now.
Then she started complaining about the price of the flower arrangement that was on the casket. It had evidently costed 2500 NOK and turned to me with “When have you ever gotten flowers for 2500 NOK?” Well, first of all, it’s not a fucking competition. And I don’t want 2500 NOK worth of flower arrangements that are usually put on caskets. She spoke to me about it as if I didn’t know what it had costed and as if I didn’t know anything about what had happened during arranging the funeral with the funeral home. I was there, she wasn’t! She didn’t even know what the flowers had looked like, I did! Heck, I’m the one who picked out that particular flower arrangement she was now bitching about.
We stayed for another 20 minutes before we finally left. We luckily started to run out of time before the swedish bank would close and we had to be on our way. We got to the car, I closed the door and put my seatbelt on before stating “Your sister is a fucking obnoxious cunt.”
As it turns out, when we got to the swedish bank and managed to close down his accounts they contained enough money to break even and null out the loan Monkey had gotten in order to pay for the funeral.
I hope that cunt-move was worth it.